if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she woke up with a sticky ear
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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