it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
