i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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