dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
