shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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