My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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