3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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