You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
