Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
