Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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