I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
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im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.