Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
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right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
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Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful