420 ftw
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize