All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
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