he thought i was a dude.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
