and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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