I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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