that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
wow bdsm is so cute
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