The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
