Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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