i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
