life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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