His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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