Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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