How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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