Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Drunk is not a location!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
