I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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