I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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