All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
