I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
