This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You have to summon your inner elephant
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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