He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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