i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
