i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize