i just made my gag reflex go away.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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