? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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