apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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