so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If that was your dad, he is hot
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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