Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize