The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
