the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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