I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
