Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
two words...techno handjob
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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