I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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