he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
