I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
