worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He better not be in your backpack
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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