why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
