East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
