Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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