Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
BRING THE BAGELS
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
