that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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