Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i think i just lost a toe
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
