she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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