Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
