I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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