people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
