mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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