is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
