I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize