Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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