It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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