walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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