When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize