HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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