Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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