we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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