i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
