Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize