Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
