I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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