I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
